Thursday, April 3, 2008
My Name is Asher Lev
So far I love this book. The Jewish terminology can sometimes be difficult, but I am enjoying the storyline. I felt a connection when his mother went into such a deep depression after her brother died. Recently, I have had some friends who are suffering from depression also. I don't understand this disease, and I am sure it looks different for each person. At times I found myself getting very angry with the mother. I kept wondering what was in her mind that the love and loss of this brother was so much stronger than the love and care for her son and husband. I'm sure if she could have done something sooner she would have, and I can't imagine what that type on inability to even move would be like. Asher kept asking questions and it seemed that the parents would not give him very good information. From his point of view, he was suffering. I wonder how often I give my children a vague answer and think that they are ok with it.
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Depression is a very debilitating disease. I've suffered with it myself but not that extreme. I believe Asher's mother fell into this deep depression because she and her brother were very close. Her parents died when she was young and came to think of him as a father replacement. She made a statement about losing your parents two times in the book. Asher's parents were very vague with him at times in the book. I try to be vague with my kids put they keep pressing until they finally get it out of me!
When Asher's mother recovers she actually becomes supportive by taking him to the museum many times.I think she is a role model for him in the sense that she is driven by the need to complete her brother's work, just as Asher is driven to draw.She does this by going to college to learn Russian history and to speak the language. Again, it is the Rebbe who recognizes her ability and passion just as he is the one to accept the same artistic passion in Asher.
I think this part of the book gives us a glimse into the mind of a child when very adult things are happening in their world. I, like others, have had some pretty major things happen to me. I have always been concerned how my young children were perceiving these events in their lives. They are now grown and I still worry about this. They assure me that I gave them the support they needed at the time. It is so difficult to communicate to your children in times of extreme stress.
I'm glad I wasnt the only one getting frustrated with Asher's mother while reading. I work in the medical field and it didn't stop me from having a judgement. I think the world still looks at depression as a choice many times.
Asher's questioning spirit is one of my favorite parts of the book so far, he is a perceptive curious character isn't he...
It seems that Asher's mother suffered more than depression; she had an entire breakdown. She really was no longer able to function. I'm really not clear how long she was in that state, but it seemed like a long time.
As parents we are always concerned that we are doing the best we can by our children and we are shielding them from the bad things in life. I try to remember to show them and tell them I love them each and every day, even when things are a little rough and crazy and hope that what I'm doing is right. It's the best anyone can do I suppose.
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